How do we bring our physical beauty under God's dominion? Is spiritual beauty the only thing that matters? How can we better understand our Father's love by contemplating the way He created us?
Today I have my incredible sister-in-law Kate on to do a guest post and answer some of these questions. This spring, she, my mom and I hosted a conference on the topic of "Beauty & Holiness." After Kate's session, many people asked for the notes from her talk, so I told Kate, "Why don't we just post the notes on my blog?"
Kate was graciously willing to share, and I have pasted the notes below, as well as the recording from the conference.
Get ready to be deeply encouraged, feel really uncomfortable, and have your eyes pointed toward Christ. And maybe get out a notebook. :)
Without further ado, here is Kate. 😊
Good morning, ladies!
Some of you know me, most of you don’t. For those who don’t, my name is Kate, and I belong to the Lamb family as of last August. :) Kina asked me to speak this morning because I have a very specific set of skills that is relevant to the topics we’ll be discussing today. I’m on my way to achieving certification as a Seasonal Color Analyst. That’s just a really fancy way of saying I know how to tell you what to wear. :)
Seasonal color as we know it today is a method for determining which colors best harmonize with your natural coloring. You may be familiar with terms like ‘warm toned’ and ‘cool toned’; ‘clear’ and ‘muted.’ Seasonal color was first pioneered by impressionist painters seeking to accurately capture and catalog the colors found in nature at different times of the year. They divided them into four categories—you guessed it, one for each season. It wasn’t long before they realized that this color catalog could also be applied to humans. Seasonal color as a stylistic art form has gone through many evolutions and given birth to many related and similar practices for determining which colors are the most flattering on which types of people. The model I’ll be demonstrating later on today is one with twelve seasons, three different versions of each of the original four.
But before we get down to brass tacks, I need to talk about something else.
Personal Style vs False Modesty
When I was a girl, the general message I got from the conservative homeschooling culture of Christianity around me was that I was allowed to desire beautiful things, but not to desire to be beautiful myself. God made beauty—we were allowed to enjoy it. But to enjoy, enhance, or deliberately highlight our own beauty was vain, superficial, and dishonoring to God. If I found a shirt I loved, I had to find a better reason to love it than how well it fit and flattered my body, or that the specific shade of green brought out my eyes and made them sparkle.
I thought ‘if seeking to highlight my beauty is dishonoring to God, seeking to downplay it must be honoring to Him.’
I have always loved beautiful things with an extravagant flair—sparkles, sequins, fur, silk, and velvet, in bold colors like scarlet, emerald, and indigo. I was attracted to things that sparkled like stars and ice—the imperial side of nature you get on a snowy morning awash with piercing blue skies and scarlet-colored cardinals.
As a young girl, striving to be God-honoring by following the example of the culture I belonged to, I denied my love for those things. I chastised myself for desiring to adorn myself with them; told myself over and over that those extravagant things were for worldly women who didn’t care about honoring God. I believed this mindset was modest, sober, and mature.
Ladies—if our eyes are on the world and our chief concern is not to be like them, our eyes are not on God, and our chief concern is not to be like Him.
The modesty I felt compelled to cultivate as a girl was not modest, sober, or mature. It stems from a host of ugly things (fear, guilt, self-loathing) and ultimately from a lack of understanding about who God is. If it were possible for us to take God’s glory from Him by striving to be more of what He already made us— beautiful—God would not be the infinite and all-glorious God that He is.
False modesty is self-effacing, going to great lengths to establish that she is not beautiful, not talented, not exceptional in any way. A compliment cannot be received with cheerful thanks, but must be corrected, questioned, or disproved. Time and energy are invested in negative self-focus, showing ingratitude to anyone who goes out of their way to affirm them and to God, who created them in His own image.
Refusing to partake and delight in God’s gifts, great and small, is the sign of a spirit that doubts God’s grace, is eaten up by its own unworthiness, and believes its own penance and self-denial can win it favor with God and man.
Of course we don’t deserve His gift of beauty. But beside the gift of Christ…? The gift of beauty is a drop in the bucket of how extravagantly He loves us. To wallow in our imperfection and call guilt humility is to deny the saving grace of Christ, who redeemed not only us, but has made all things beautiful in His time. If we are too righteous for God’s gifts, great and small, we are too righteous for God. What does this do for our testimony?
A modest woman knows that she is beautiful for the simple reason that she is God’s handiwork, and if she thinks of her beauty at all, it is to give thanks for His love. To ‘dress in her most flattering colors’ is not to flatter herself, but to celebrate the beauty of God’s creation.
And our God is a God of extravagant beauty.
Peacocks weren’t black and white in paradise, then turned all those blinding colors from the curse of sin.
Zinnias weren’t pale, modest pinks in the Garden of Eden and then stricken with scarlet as a mark of the depravity of a fallen world.
No one passes by a field of sunflowers and goes ‘Uggh! They’re so bright they’re taking away God’s glory! Better cover them up with mud!’
We understand that the overflowing splendor of creation is only a reflection of the splendor of the Creator. So why do we shy away from our own beauty as though it were not created by the same extravagant hand?
Beauty Through God’s Eyes
Let’s take a look at what God describes as beautiful.
Isaiah 3: 16-24
“Because the daughters of Zion are haughty,
And walk with outstretched necks
And wanton eyes,
Walking and mincing as they go,
Making a jingling with their feet,
Therefore the Lord will strike with a scab
The crown of the head of the daughters of Zion,
And the Lord will uncover their secret parts.
In that day the Lord will take away the finery:
The jingling anklets, the scarves, and the crescents;
The pendants, the bracelets, and the veils;
The headdresses, the leg ornaments, and the headbands;
The perfume boxes, the charms,
and the rings;
The nose jewels,
the festal apparel, and the mantles;
The outer garments, the purses,
and the mirrors;
The fine linen, the turbans, and the robes.
And so it shall be:
Instead of a sweet smell there will be a stench;
Instead of a sash, a rope;
Instead of well-set hair, baldness;
Instead of a rich robe, a girding of sackcloth;
And branding instead of beauty."
At first glance, this passage seems to confirm that all of these extravagant things (nose jewels, sashes, headdresses, perfume, and mirrors, etc.) are the mark of rebellious and worldly women.
But the word God uses for these things He is taking away is ‘beauty’. "It was their haughtiness that was repulsive to Him, not their clothes."
Ezekiel 16:6-14 says,
"And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare.
“When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord God. “Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” says the Lord God."
We see in this passage God bestowing all the beautiful things He took away in the first passage. Let’s review just a couple of the items on God’s ‘beautiful’ list: Embroidered garments. Gold and silver. Perfume. Badger-skin sandals. Nose jewels. Earrings, sashes, silk, and crowns. Imagine—one woman, decked out with all of this at the same time. If that was me, I’d hardly be able to walk! But God bestows this extravagant, ‘unnecessary’ physical adornment as a mark of His favor and a reflection of His splendor—what better proof that He considers all these things beautiful?
Spiritual Beauty and Physical Beauty
The passage in Isaiah is God speaking judgment to Israel for her many sins. He blessed them with abundance in all things and they still turned from Him. ‘Because the daughters of Zion are haughty,’ He says. These women took the beauty God bestowed on them and thought that it belonged to them, to use as they saw fit. They walked in the garments of glory with a heart of pride and ingratitude. Whitewashed tombs. Because their eyes were not on God they forgot that their beauty was His gift, and because their eyes were not on God their hearts became ugly. Ugly hearts spoil the most exquisite skin, hair, and jewels. As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.
How do we avoid developing pride in our own beauty? The first sin of the daughters of Zion was turning their faces away from God. When we turn our faces from Him we invite the confusion and darkness of the world and our own sin natures to come and rule our drifting hearts. There is no standard apart from God that has the power to keep us pure. No dress code, however earnest, will keep your heart from pride. Seeking to impose outer modesty and outer beauty on an immodest or ugly heart leaves you with only false modesty and empty beauty. Left to themselves, our hearts drift. The only certain anchor is the Lord.
And so we seek His face. He. is. beauty. Only by gazing into His face continually can our spirits be transformed to reflect His radiance. We cannot understand His extravagance, and we cannot reflect that extravagance, until we have allowed ourselves to stand before Him spiritually naked. Surrender is an awful thing. You strip your soul of all its armor—pride, guilt, and fear—and turn out your secret pockets. You stand defenseless before the throne of the One who formed you, and all the hideous deformity of your sin rises before Him like an idolatrous incense. How our souls, even at their purest, must reek to Him. And the worst—and best—of it is… there’s nothing we can do about it. Reeking as we do of pride and fear and self-righteousness, He still invites us to come boldly. Because of Christ, He still invites us to behold His beauty.
What right do we have to any pride, knowing this? Our bodies are beautiful lamps, beautiful just because God made them. Our souls are the lights in the lamps, and only God can make them beautiful enough to shine as they ought.
And He does. He makes His beauty ours.
Physical and spiritual, our beauty only comes from Him. Once we understand this, we can turn our eyes to our own beauty with gratitude instead of fear or pride.
Your Beauty
So look at yourself. Find every beautiful thing. Name them—the three different shades of blue in your eye, the gradient from cream to peach that creeps along your cheek, the perfect dimple beside your chin when you smile. You are exquisite in every detail, and it is yours to rejoice in.
This is where it gets uncomfortable, isn’t it? How can I tell you to turn your eyes to your own beauty when I just told you all your beauty comes from God? Isn’t it enough to behold His face and let Him make you radiant from the inside out?
We could spend an eternity simply beholding and it would not be wasted. But God has given us even more than that. He has given us eyes to see and hearts to understand, so we can worship Him.
I’m going to be honest with you, I almost made this talk about the practicality of dressing in your best colors. When you know what colors you look radiant in, you don’t waste time, money, and closet space on experimental items that you only end up wearing once. It’s quite useful. :)
But I almost made this talk about that because I was afraid to say…everything I just told you. After so many years thinking modesty and holiness had nothing to do with my own physical beauty, the directness of God’s truth hits me like hydrogen peroxide on a bloody knee. It hurts. It still hurts. And the idea of dressing with intentional beauty—of rejoicing in the perfect beauty of my face and form—feels like asking for trouble. I want to go back into hiding. I want to go on believing that I’m plain but pure and that’s the end of it. Because when you realize that God has made you beautiful, you realize that He has given you enormous power and responsibility.
We may enjoy the idea of power, but not responsibility. Responsibility means we answer for how we use our power to the One who gave it to us. That terrifies me. I want to go back to the false world where I was plain at best and had no power or responsibility to wrestle with. That world was safe.
But safe is not an acceptable doctrine. We are not called to safety, but to faithfulness.
Worshiping Our Creator with Intentional Beauty
Seasonal color (and the myriad of other systems like it) is not something man invented, but something God created and man discovered. As a science and as an art form, the study of our own beauty is only another area in which we study God’s creation. We are wholly His, after all. He made us, fearfully and wonderfully, and if He has seen fit to code us in the colors of the seasons, it is our privilege to know and delight in His perfect work.
When we see and understand the beautiful way He created us, and we choose the colors we wear in light of this understanding, the simple act of getting dressed can be an act of worship.
When you were a child, you likely looked up at the stars and found them pretty because they were bright, and mysterious because they were far away. Now that you have put away childish things, the stars are staggering in their beauty because you understand how far away far is. Your knowledge of distance enhances your worship. What your heart knows, it can give thanks for.
When you know why that specific shade of purple or green makes you radiant, you can give thanks for it. But how will you know unless you study? And how will you study unless you put away the fear of pride, look to God, and let Him fill you up with gratitude?
Conclusion:
We are also called to be beautiful because the world is watching. God is not only just, gracious, and merciful—He is beautiful. We are to be like Him, and our likeness to Him is to be a light to the world.
Not that we use our beauty as a bait-and-switch—luring the world in close enough that we can clobber them with the gospel... But God’s beauty in us is one of many, many candles proclaiming and rejoicing in the redemption of our lives—body and soul.
